Here are a few Stargate SG-1 quotes. Please feel free to add more to the list.

O'NEILL: "It's a robot!
JACKSON: No, it's a representative from a highly evolved alien species." Katy Fulton

While teal'c and o'neill are in a goa'uld cell two horus guards are speaking casually, teal'c seems to be paying attention. All of a sudden the two guards and teal'c burst into laughter.
O'NEILL:*quickly* "What? "
teal'c go's back to his normal expressionless face while the two guards still laugh.
TEAL'C :*quickly* "NOTHING" vash

O'NEILL: "It’s always suicide mission this save the planet that no one ever stops by to say hi to any more." bazz

OTHERS: "I feel so much better knowing a archeologist is watching our backs."
JACKSON : "(holds up knife) *sracastically* Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again? " Natalie

O'NEILL: "By all means, to hell with us!" Natalie

JACKSON: "All I know is that the city you found me in is not it."
O'NEILL: "So, The Lost City is still lost?"
JACKSON: "Did I just say all I know?"
O'NEILL: "Everybody turn away... I want no witnesses." Natalie

O'NEILL: "Uh, General, no offense, but you're not the one who went to bed watching CNN and woke up as part of the MTV generation." Sorcha

CARTER: "The atomic rate of boron is ten."
O'NEILL : "And?"
CARTER: "You wrote 'fat'." Sorcha

JACOB: "There's nothing wrong with being young, but you've gotta learn to take small steps. You can't just slap a US Air Force sticker on the side of a DEATH GLIDER, and call it yours. Advancement like that has to be earned." Sorcha

JACOB: "(Laughing) Beam them out? What am I , Scotty?" Sorcha

BOCHER: "I'm Christian Bocher. Portraying the character of Raymond Gunne who portrays the character of Dr. Levant, which is based on the character Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader. In the feature film. Are you okay?" Sorcha

O'NEILL: "Hey! If you'd been listening, you'd know that nintendos [neutrinos] pass through everything!" Sorcha

TEAL'C: "Dr Fraiser does not think you are well enough."
O'NEILL: "Yeah whatever! (Thud) Teal'c picks O'Neill up off the floor and dumps him back on the bed face down."
O'NEILL: "(muffled) Thanks". Natalie

O'NEILL to Maybourne: "Actually, that overwhelming desire to shoot you has come back." Natalie

(We see Sam get into the lift next to Jack and press a button. The doors close. Sam starts humming the Stargate theme tune)
O'NEILL: (looking quizzically at Sam) Humming?
CARTER: I am?
O'NEILL: You are.
CARTER: Sorry. (Long pause)
O'NEILL: So what's his name?
CARTER: Now why -
O'NEILL: (interrupting) Humming.
CARTER: Pete.
O'NEILL: Pete?
CARTER: Pete Shannahan (sp?) He's a cop.
O'NEILL: Speeding again?
CARTER: (short laugh) No, he's a friend of my brother's.
O'NEILL: Setup?
CARTER: Pathetic, I know.
O'NEILL: Not really. (Sam gives a short laugh again.)
O'NEILL: (deliberately and slowly - in a way only Jack O'Neill can say something) And yet...*hum*worthy... Li and Em

O'NEILL: "General. Captain. General. Waiter.'' Andrew

CARTER: "Colonel"
O'NEILL: "Carter"
JACKSON: "Coffee...'' Li and Em

TEAL'C: "Colonel O'Neill is correct. Events do appear to be repeating themselves.'' KC

HAMMOND: "Colonel? What are you doing out of uniform?"
O'NEILL: "Handing you my resignation. "
CARTER: "Resigning? What for? "
O'NEILL: "So I can do this..." *Jack kisses Sam passionately* KC

ANUBIS: "That wasn't my doing. But this is.'' anubis

O'NEILL: "Well they're all debating the meaning of life out there, both Daniels think this is all fasinating, the Carters are arguing already, Teal'C feels left out." Laura

O'NEILL: "I'm taking this loop off. *He put 2 blobs of ketsup on the plate.* I'm tellin' ya, Teal'C, (softly) If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna loose it. *Teal'C cocks his head looking confused* Lose it? It means go crazy ... nuts ... (He gets progressively louder and faster in his talking!) insane ... Bonzo ... *He's putting more ketchup and mustard on the plate as he's talking* No longer in possession of one's faculties ... Three fries short of a Happy Meal ... WACKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *He shows Teal'C the smiley face he drew on the plate* '' Sarah, KC

O'NEILL: "Oh for cryin' out loud!'' Sarah, anubis

JACKSON: "This tastes like chicken."
CARTER: "What's wrong with that?"
JACKSON: "It's macaroni and cheese." Heru'ur

O'NEILL: "How does sticking a nedle in my but get the water out of my ears?''

JACKSON (over a walkie-talkie): "Jack, we've finished our recon, loaded up Fred and are ready to head back through the Gate. Is this...am I using this right?" V

JACKSON: "Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music."
O'NEILL: "Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll?"
JACKSON: "In a manner of speaking." Curupira

O'NEILL: "I'd rather be in the thing with the eyes and the NO!" SpceMnkey4evr

O'NEILL: "There's a man who is very important to me. He's bald and wears a short sleeved shirt. I think his name is Homer" SpceMnkey4evr

URGO: "I'm melting, melting! What a world, oh what a world!" Snake

TEAL'C: "Indeed" Sakura

CARTER: "You've never seen 'Star Wars'?"
O'NEILL: "You know what I'm like with sci-fi" Alan

HAMMOND: "...plausable deniability. In the even of a future breach of security, we'll be able to point to this television programme...that is if it stays on the air." Alan

CARTER: "Ummmm, Colonel?!"
O'NEILL: "Its my sidearm I swear!" Christina

CARTER: "Welcome to MY life!" Christina

O'NEILL: "Really jam it in there this time!" Rick

HAMMOND: "Colonel O'Neill, what the hell are you doing?"
O'NEILL: "IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACKSWING!!!" Jackie

O'NEILL: "That's O'Neill with TWO L's" (He holds up three fingers!) Jackie

JACKSON: "Woman? Did he just call me woman?" Jackie

O'NEILL: "I ask you, what could there possibly be in my eye that could explain all this?" Ally

O'NEILL: "Is mental illness contagious?" Kentar

JACKSON: "The souix used to say this is a good day to die (Asgard Mothership appears) Then again maybe not." Hannah

TEAL'C: "Chel Nak!"
JACKSON: "Direct translation, 'Very Cool'." Katherine

MAKEPEACE: "How's the leg? Can you walk?"
O'NEILL: "Oh, it's just a deep, bleeding gash but it'll be fine!" Katherine

O'NEILL: "Is everyone clear on that? Daniel"
JACKSON: "What?"
O'NEILL: "Good." Katherine

NEFREYU: "Is this a weapon?"
O'NEILL: "Yes, and you can't have it." Katherine

JACKSON: "Oh, I really hate it when this happens." Katherine

JACKSON: "Er, the sub is beeping." Katherine

JACKSON: "Thank you, I smell much better....Oh I smell like a Yak!" Katherine

HAMMOND: "We've all been holding our breath down here."
TEAL'C: "That is not wise." James

JACKSON: "I've never been on a stakeout before. Shouldn't we have doughnuts?" Katy

O'NEILL: "SG-1? What kind of name is that for a team?" Katy

TEAL'C: "Trust me O'Neill"
O'NEILL: "What if I'm not O'Neill?"
TEAL'C: "Then I was not talking to you" Katy

HAMMOND: "I thought these devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid." Katy

O’NEILL: "Jaffa, kree!"
TROFSKY: "Kel’mac, Goa’uld? Kree’tak?"
O’NEILL: "You heard me, I said Kree!"

HAMMOND: "Yeeeehaaaw!"

O'NEILL: "All right. I gotta know."
JACKSON: "Yes, I'm about to activate it."
O'NEILL: "No, no, no. Not that. What the hell does Kree mean?"
JACKSON: "Well, actually, it means a lot of things. Uh, loosely translated it means 'attention,' 'listen up,' 'concentrate.' "
O'NEILL: "Yoo-hoo?"
JACKSON: "Yes, in a manner of speaking."

O'NEILL: "Well the combined IQ of Earth might go up a few points having two Carters around."

O'NEILL: "(To alternative reality Carter) Well exactly. You don't know any of us. And we don't know you. For all we know. You could be her evil twin. But then we'd be dealing with cliches and you know how I feel about those. (To this reality Carter) No, actually, you know how I feel about those." (O'Neill confusing himself)

TEAL'C: "A serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips."

O'NEILL: (To Carter) "Didn't I order you to get a life?"

JACKSON: "Since when?"
O'NEILL: "Since we went to P4X-639."
CARTER: "We haven't been to P4X-639."
O'NEILL: "Yes we have. (Points to Daniel) 'No, we haven't!' That's what you were gonna say."
JACKSON: "Of course, that's what I was gonna say."
O'NEILL: "Bad example."

O'NEILL: "Hey! If it was just me, I'd say yeah. But what about Teal'C? Does this look like the face of a crazy man? (Teal'C looks at him with the usual stoic face) Bad example."

O'NEILL: "What kind of archiologist carries a weapon?"
JACKSON: "(Raised hand) Uh ... I do!"
JACK: "Bad example."

CARTER: "Maybe, you're not remembering future events. Maybe you were sent back in time."
JACK: "For what? Six hours?"
SAM: "It wouldn't be the first time we've seen something like this. The stargate did send us back to 1969. So, I was wondering, could this beam you mentioned be a means to access the gate's subspace field in order to create some kind of timing version outside of subspace?"
JACK: "Good year."

TEAL'C: "Appearances may be deceiving."
O'NEILL: "One man's ceiling is another man's floor."
JACKSON: "A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell."
O'NEILL: "Never run with scissors?"

CARTER: "Colonel, I logged over one hundred hours in enemy air space during the Gulf War. Is that tough enough for you? Or are we gonna have to arm wrestle?"

O'NEILL: "This has nothing to do with you being a woman, I like women, I just have a little problem with scientists."

O'NEILL: "Yeah, his eys glowed, that was our first clue."

O'NEILL: "Lucy, I'm home."
TEAL'C: "I am not Lucy."
O'NEILL: "I know that."

JACKSON: "Tastes like chicken."

TEAL'C: "Your world is a strange place."
JACKSON: "So is yours."

O'NEILL: "Yeah. You go and I'll stay here with 'plantboy'."

O'NEILL: "General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this guy."

JACKSON: "We'll just upload a virus to their mother ship."

JACKSON: "Flowers." *sneeze* "Way to many flowers."

O'NEILL: "We came here in peace. We except to go in one... piece."

O'NEILL: "Kinda like shooting off a gun when train's going by." *silence* "To hide the sound."

JACKSON: "I don't have a sister Jack and if I did I wouldn't let you near her."

O'NEILL: "Carter where theres a will theres an or (silence) way."

BRA'TAC: "We will cross that bridge when we come to it!"

O'NEILL: "He's come to rescue us, (under his breath) I doubt it."

O'NEILL: "Well that was an intergalactic waste of time!"

O'NEILL: "That never get's old, I love that."

O'NEILL: "So well put up a sign at the end of the ramp, that says 'GATE TRAVEL CAN BE HAZOROUS TO YOUR HEALTH'."

TEAL'C: "If I stay in this body I must shave my head."

O'NEILL: "Daniel, how long ya figure we outta hang out here and scratch our cosmic heads?"

CARTER: "This is how they controlled it! it took us fifteen years and three super computers to MacGyver a control system for the gate back on earth!"

O'NEILL: "Daniel was a scientist, he sneezed alot, basically he was a geek Sir."

CARTER: "Maybourne! You are an IDIOT every DAY of the WEEK!! Why couldn't you take A DAY OFF!"

O'NEILL: "We're Home, thanks to one sparky, young 'Leutenant' Hammond."

O'NEILL: "I hate surpirises, did I mention this comes as a surprise?."

JACKSON: "I don't want to die. Your men here don't want to die. It is a shame you're in such a big hurry to."

JACKSON: "Who in the hell translated this?"

TEAL'C: "What is Oprah?"

CARTER: "The energy the gate must release to form a stable wormhole - it's astronomical, to use exactly the right word!."

O'NEILL: "Unas, what exactly does Sokar have on you that makes you so dang cranky?"

O'NEILL: "Daniel you dog you keep this up you'll have a girl on every planet!"

CARTER: "Well, considering that you guys get to go to this party tonight and i have to stay in this yurk that smells like rancid yak butter, none taken."

CARTER: "So, uh...what happened?"
O'NEILL: "I hit the ground...Go figure!"

JACKSON: "And unless the past two years have been a wacky wacky dream I am I member of SG-1."

O'NEILL: "Just stay away from Zippy and his gaggle of Ghouls."

O'NEILL: "That's why we'd like to go back sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with her specialized do-hickeys."
HAMMOND: "Do Hickeys?"
O'NEILL: "I believe that's the technical term, Sir."

JACKSON: "Well maybe what i don't believe is that i can light a candle with my mind. You see i find it much easier to use a lighter or a match. It's much more practical."

O'NEILL: "Daniel! Shoes!"

O'NEILL: "Nothin' worse than loosing your mind, and knowing it's happening."

O'NEILL: "You'd think they never saw a guy raise from the dead before."

JACKSON: "Well they didn't call it the dark ages because it was dark."

O'NEILL: "Hail Dorothy!"

FRAISER: "No, you're a Goa'uld! Stay away!"

O'NEILL: "I'm Larry,this is Moe and everyone's favourite Curly!"

TEAL'C: "Things will not calm down Daniel Jackson. They will in fact calm up."

BRA'TAK: "Hammond Of Texas."

O'NEILL: "So help me if I wake up singing Soprano!"

O'NEILL: "General Hammod, you old son of a..."

O'NEILL: "Give my regards to King Tut, @$$hole"

TEAL'C: "Woman be silent!"

O'NEILL: "My name is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise...... Actually my name's not Kirk it's Skywalker, Luke Skywalker."

JACKSON: "Ah nice tent .We each get a tent , that's nice."

O'NEILL: "Have you ever seen a dog? Dogs are my favorite people. Some have tails, some don't... I like purple dogs"

CARTER: "HOLY HANNA!"

O'NEILL: "Next time I want to help someone, feel free to give a swift kick."

O'NEILL: "Major, next time Daniel wants to help someone, shoot him."

O'NEILL: "Alright listen up, there’s something you should know before you start shootin’ and ruin what maybe the start of a beautiful friendship. Our beloved Hathor is dead...yeah okay, ex- Goddess maybe. I killed her myself. Trust me on this. She is gone, she is no more, well lets face it she’s a former queen."

O'NEILL: "He's a very good, very bald man, from Texas."

O'NEILL: "Ya think?"

TEAL'C: "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you."

CONNOR: "Kill me!"
O'NEILL: "Are you sure? I've come all this way."

O'NEILL: "General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this guy!"

O'NEILL: "I'm not going to hit you, Mayborne, I'm going to shoot you!"

O'NEILL: "Take me to your leader!"

O'NEILL: "And this just came to you?"
JACKSON: "No actually it came to me while I was sufficating."

O'NEILL: "Uh.. General. Without meaning, this time, to sound like a smartass. Are you cracked?"

O'NEILL: "Good morning campers!"

O'NEILL: "Does it say 'Colonel' anywhere on my uniform?"

JACKSON: "Colonel O'Neill thinks I'm a geek. I have no idea how to get us back. I'll never get paid."

Please feel free to add more to the list!