General Hammond looked in horror at the piece of paper sitting on his desk. It wasn't going away. Wait perhaps it was all a nasty nightmare.

"Owwwww" he cried as he pinched himself and discovered it was in fact, real life.

He stopped sobbing as he had a deliciously evil idea.

"Colonel O'Neil report to Generals Hammond's office" the PA system crackled.

Colonel O'Neil strolled into the Hammond's office, and paused in shock. The normally composed general's evil laughter had changed into a slightly hysterical set of giggles.

"General?" Said O'Neil tentatively.

"Colonel O'Neil" The general replied, in a rather composed manner for someone who just hopped out from under a desk.

"I have bad news colonel" he continued gravely

"A new Major is transferring here" he paused.

"Ahh, General, what is so bad about that?" Colonel O'Neil was so confused he forgot to give his usual sarcastic remarks.

"Its.... She's...... " He stuttered for a while before finally spitting out:

"Her name, she's MARY SUE"

Colonel O'Neil looked shocked.

"SEND IT BACK, SEND IT BACK" Colonel O'Neil cried out as he swung back and forth, clinging desperately to the light hanging off the ceiling.

"I can't colonel, my hands are tied." Hammond said in a small voice.

"I'm giving her to you to show her the ropes, take her out with SG-1 in the morning." Hammond said while keeping his hand near his security button, just in case.

"WHAT" screamed O'Neil, he was so shocked he forgot to hold onto the light.

"THUMP" said the floor.

The general waited for Jack to realise the ingenuous of his plan. A few minutes of swearing from the floor and jack paused.

"Wait, we're going to another one of those 'safe' planets aren't we? The ones that are never actually safe? The ones in which at least one extra person dies?" Jack asked with an evil grin.

"Exactly Colonel" Hammond replied, with an identical grin.

Jacks smile faulted.

"Are you sure that predicability will be enough to overwhelm her Mary Sue powers?"

"I hope so, Colonel, for all our sakes, I hope so" General Hammond replied gravely.

Once again, the fate of the SGC is in SG-1's hands!

Used with permission.
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